Introduction:
I have not been diagnosed with any mental illness, i never got drunk- never did drugs, don’t drink coffee or soda or take pills, i weigh 12 lbs at birth (ask my mother for my birth certificate. c-section). Im a healthy guy, mentally and physically. Fought in amateur boxing, sparred in kickboxing and trained in several fight schools.
I have not seen a doctor because of sickness in about 18 years. But I see a certified aide every 2 years for mandatory job physicals.
As the youngest of 3, we were shuffled to different families when my mom left us to come to USA in 1988. Even before she left us, i still felt parentless after my father died in 1984 because all she did was work. There was no one to oversee us. with that said i was free as a bird, even as a kid i will travel to the mountains far from home with 1 weapon= sling shot. kill birds, gather spiders, go to the beach, fighting with neighborhood kids etc.
When i came to USA in April of 1993, everything changed... My free life was taken away from me, now I’m isolated into a small house with only the cable television and videogame to entertain me.
So i was extremely depressed my 1st year in USA, the adjustment was difficult...
Crying in the middle of the night while lying in bed around a year after, I heard a extremely deep voice of a elderly man saying 'I love you.... I love you.... I love you...." the voice was so clear first then it got distant after a saying it repeatedly.
To be honest i don’t consider this 'miraculous' because i was half asleep laying there. In fact i thought this was a ‘delusion’.. so i consider this evidence 'inadmissible' though it’s worth mentioning because of my second encounter with the same voice later on....
its now around 1997, 4 years have passed living in prison of my home... now I’m 17yo and my face was covered in acnes, i was so ugly it was embarrassing to go in public. so i did the only thing i knew what to do= pray the rosary.
My goal for the prayer was for God to help remove my acnes and look 'normal' so i will no longer become suicidal. So i waited till everybody left and I’m home alone.
There's a statue of the blessed mother in my mothers bedroom. she worked in san Francisco that night so i was home alone and went to her room and locked it, then prayed the rosary. Staring at the virgin Mary, i wept and wanted her to feel my pain, my suicidal feelings..
After i finished the mysteries my whole body was engulfed with the identical voice of an elderly man i heard few years prior. The voice was so deep and he spoke through my chest, i was frozen for few seconds and 'He' said:
"YOU DONT NEED THAT, YOU NEED INNER HEALING".
I didn't hear the voice in my ears or my mind, I heard it in my heart, my chest, my entire body was engulfed with the voice but more specifically the vibration is in my heart.
Now looking back being a cold hearted guy today, it’s hard to understand why i wasn’t 'shocked' at the time. In fact my 1st re-action was rebellion.
I wanted my acnes healed. I was suicidal, depressed, ugly.. I didn’t ask for 'inner healing' whatever that may mean because to be honest, until today I’m still unsure of what it really means. I just bowed down and continued my prayer until it is finished.
My 2nd reaction of course is why did i hear a voice of a man? A elderly man at that. I was staring at the statue of the blessed mother; I should have heard a woman.
Now i didn’t link these voice to the voice i heard few years prior until few days after when i connected the dot and remembered, it was identical.
All the theories put together and i can’t deny it for what it is... I believe the logical conclusion is it was who they call Yahweh; i say so because this goes against my religious upbringing...
The belief that no one can come to the Father but through Jesus, because if i have to make a physical presentation of the voice i heard it would have to be ATLEAST a 50 year old powerful man.
The biblical Jesus i know of is around 33 years old, I’m 34yo now and i cant imitate that deep voice. what i typed here is true and correct and i swear it to my soul and i'll take it to my grave...
I never heard 'Him' again althrough i tried repeatedly for many years. I prayed even harder many times than what i did at the time of the encounter, I even went to ‘prince of peace abbey’ in oceanside California to become a benedictine monk and prayed all day for 10 days, but I never heard Him again.....
And that’s ok, one encounter is enough to prove to me “He” is real.
After that experience, im no longer sure if i can discriminate Muslims the way i was raised in Philippines...
We hated Muslims, they kidnap people in my town and ask for ransom money.. but my views changed completely since although i was silent for a long time. I’m still catholic, i still love the rosary, but im open to the universal Father....
UPDATE (12/30/15): I got the idea what ‘IF’ I was NOT selfish to care so much about my ugly face, and accepted ‘His’ words. I realize maybe that was a test to see if I’m selfless enough to abandon my looks. it got me thinking, what if i submitted to His words (and you must be a saint to be that selfless) that was the most innocent and humble stage of my life and i was still not selfless enough... i’ll probably be taken up to heaven in that moment if i submitted... narrow is the road to eternal life...
done.